11:02 AM


Hari-hari ini saya tidak hanya berpikir tentang kehidupan, tapi juga kematian. Semua kenangan yang dulu saya lalui, kembali lagi, dengan rasa yang nyata ada.

Saya sama sekali tidak membahas tentang cinta seorang pacar. Tapi yang lain. Sudah saya bilang, saya tidak mau menyebutkan terlalu frontal.

There's no stronger for me, no one could become a strong human till die, and now i'm feeling it, how fool i am that i ever think to get through this kinda life.

Today is the day when my fears come again, again, and again. I hate to feel this, always and every year. I cried in my dinner, every night, and i'm tired to do it, but how could i stop it?

Friends always take me to the real feeling of 'home sweet home'. No sweet home for me anymore, but they make me feel like i'm home, even it's outside, without roof.

No color in me, realize when it's so so so far away. 9 years. No one paint my life, my friends just watering me, but no one got a bucket of paint.

Depression, yes, maybe this what it's called.

I need someone to hug, someone to hold my hand, someone to make me smile. But it's too late, i'm still here alone without anybody left. My friends have their life to live on, i have no life to live.

Tired to hide, tired to be a fake person. But that's what makes everyone happy and smile, while i'm crying in my dark room.

Would you make my day every single day? I mean... you could be.

But please, don't look at me as a 'saddest boy' or a 'tragic boy', i want you to be my friend, to be a real friend, that knew me without telling you a story. I want you to knew what's behind my expression, the real thing behind the mask.

I need you. Help me.

Help me.

I'm dying.

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